


Purim II

by ryfkah



Series: Chag Sameach, Nine-Nine [3]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:03:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13772514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryfkah/pseuds/ryfkah
Summary: “Yes,” said Jake, “thanks, class, I’m very proud of how much you all know about Purim, which is why you appreciate how important it is that today we take down --” He pointed to the whiteboard, where, in large all-capital lettering, he had written the words: THE EVIL VIZIER.





	Purim II

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sandyk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/gifts).



“So wait,” said Boyle, “just to be clear, we’re _not_ doing a second Purim heist.”

“As much as it pains me to turn down the opportunity to show you all up,” said Jake, “unfortunately, I don’t have time this year. We have bigger fish to fry.”

“Bigger hamentaschen to bake?” suggested Boyle.

“Bigger festive baskets to arrange,” said Amy. 

“Yes,” said Jake, “thanks, class, I’m very proud of how much you all know about Purim, which is why you appreciate how important it is that today we take down --” He pointed to the whiteboard, where, in large all-capital lettering, he had written the words: THE EVIL VIZIER. 

“I actually think he just calls himself the Vizier,” said Terry.

“The guy murdered his own boss to take over his illegal weapons smuggling business,” said Jake, “so yeah, I’m feeling pretty OK with the evil label. Don’t take this away from me, Terry.”

“OK,” Rosa said, “but we’ve been trying to catch this guy for the past two months. What makes you think we’re going to nail him today?”

“Rosa! I’m so glad you asked.” Jake snapped his fingers. “Boyle!”

“Yes?”

Jake pointed to the photo taped to the whiteboard. “What kind of overwhelmingly delicious baked goods do you think you could concoct based on this individual’s characteristic headgear?” 

“Ah!” said Boyle, “the classic trilby! It would be a relatively simple procedure using a _dariole_ mold, with _pâte brisée_ crust and a chocolate and frangipane filling --” 

“OK, I have no idea what most of those words mean,” Jake interrupted, “so you can stop there, the point is that I’m sure it would be delicious and motivational.”

Boyle gave Jake two finger guns.

“We catch this guy today,” Jake went on, “we celebrate by stuffing our faces with dudebro-fedora-shaped cookies every year, maybe the precinct puts on a short annual play about how awesome we are at our jobs – honestly there’s a lot of ways we can milk this Purim thing, I’m still thinking it through. Anyway, we can do anything if we’re motivated enough. Right, guys? Nine-nine!”

“Nine-nine!” echoed Boyle.

“Nine-nine,” said Terry, with a sigh. 

Hitchcock, who had been snoring on Scully's shoulder, came awake with a start and shouted, "Nine-nine!" 

“Jake is definitely using this all as a cover to plan a heist, right?” Rosa muttered to Amy.

“Oh, yeah,” Amy murmured back, “one hundred percent. I don’t even care, though. I’m gonna absolutely _nail_ him next month when Passover comes around and it’s time to hide the afikomen.” 


End file.
